In this monstrous week, besides red, there’s another colour that becomes equally relevant. Yes, you know it – Orange aka Bhagwa.
Presenting to you, the representatives of the Oh-so Frustrated Single Men’s Association – the Bajrang Dal. This group consists only of brave men who await Valentine’s Day way more than Archies. Getting rid of their extremely busy schedules, they make it a point to have an undivided attention on the parks in their respective vicinities on this monstrous day!
Due to an unavoidable increase in the number of couples, the Bajrang Dal is in an immediate need of Manforce. I hope they don’t sue me for writing this article. I’m scared.
Digital India has basically been the magical solution to all of India’s major problems like poverty and unemployment. The Bajrang Dal has taken a pretty much similar route.
Tying up with LinkedIn for immediate hiring for their upcoming project ‘Valentine’s Maar-Peet’, you’ll probably not be surprised to see their job posting. Have a look here:
Dandi TV got an amazing opportunity of interacting with the Head-HR at Bajrang Dal, Mr. Pseudo Kumar Deshbhakt. He explained his thoughts behind this major move. Here goes:
“Our initial idea was to hijack single Laundey who are religious followers of comedian Zakir Khan. But then, religion. Also, these millennials were ‘woke’ and were tough to influence. Hence, the decision to organize a recruitment drive through LinkedIn to call unemployed numbnuts from various parts of our country was finalised.”
Dandi TV also got the prestigious chance to speak with one of the aspirants, Hopesh Mishra, who has actually applied for this post. Hopesh said,
I’m a Mechanical Engineering graduate from LPU and this opportunity comes as a ray of hope in these dark times. I’ve been unemployed for the last three years and still, my university uses me as a model in every ad of theirs. Bajrang Dal is the only hope for me since my work experience and my experience in dating women is the same. Zilch.
Tomorrow is the V-Day for these zealous corporate slaves and we are only just hoping that they are nowhere to be seen.
Please Note: This was a sarcastic article with an attempt to point out the extremely ridiculous events that may happen on 14th Feb. LinkedIn obviously doesn’t encourage such bullshit and neither should you.
Here’s wishing all of you a very Happy Valentine’s Day!